Zarqawi Uncut

"Die, infidels! Die! Die the death of... Wait. Hey, Abdul! Gimme a hand clearing this jam. Awww, forget it. I'm going to the mall for new sneakers."

"This piece you all see as he walks away, he's wearing his black uniform and his New Balance tennis shoes as he moves to this white pickup. And, his close associates around him ... do things like grab the hot barrel of the machine gun and burn themselves," the military spokesman added.

My favorite moment? When he sweeps his buddies with the muzzle.

Priceless.